Today I am guest writing on my dad’s blog for his birthday but also because I feel that I am a living epistle of what he preaches and the way he lives.
Many people can look at our family from the outside and assume that it is manufactured or disingenuous. One thing that I get the privilege to do on a regular basis is to be honest about my process, our family’s process and what I’ve learned in the 26 years I’ve known my dad.All of us might have mentors or parents who believed in us; more importantly, we have a God who has given us a destiny and a purpose. He believes in us when we don’t believe in ourselves, and He will surround us with people that feel about us in some ways like He feels about us.For some, that’s a wife, or a teacher, or a grandparent, or a best friend, for me, I’ve gotten the immense privilege to have my parents be these people.
There are so many things that I have to be grateful for that I know many people don’t get:
I’m grateful my parents are still together.
I’m grateful that I got to grow up with parents who were involved in my development and were interested in what I was interested in.
I’m grateful that I have parents who haven’t left me to myself, but have truly corrected, mentored and discipled me because they know that God has a great destiny (even in times where I’ve felt like I haven’t.)
I’m grateful that my parents have always been both honest and positive around me. Honest about the way a situation is, but positive in their response to that situation. I feel that not many people are this way, most of us are honest and negative, we say what’s wrong, then we act like something is wrong. My parents have modeled hope, belief, honor, and encouragement for me; even when I knew they were sad, or upset or dealing with something difficult.
As I get older, what I am beginning to understand one of my parent’s (especially my dad’s) greatest desire is to spend time with me. They want to feel like they are a part of my life. I know they’ve spent so much time initiating a relationship with me that they want me to initiate with them. Sometimes as kids, i think that “parents” is often a word that for some reason doesn’t mean “people.” When I was younger I would see my “parents” as these older, supportive figures in my life. Not really as people with feelings and desires and wants. The older I’ve gotten the more I realize not only are my parents people, they’re humans. They don’t do, and haven’t done everything right.
The best lessons I have learned from my dad have usually come when he’s made mistakes. I’ve gotten to see his response to his imperfection. And truthfully, I wish that I could respond as well to conflict, doubt, insecurity and my own personal flaws as well as my dad does. He’s apologized when he hasn’t been wrong. He’s been humble when he could have been proud. And he’s sought God when he faced moments of personal doubt in his own life.
This gives me great hope for my future. Because I hope that I have the potential to respond to these things the way my dad has. I know he’s not perfect, and I know that I’m not. I also know our family isn’t perfect, and the success that we have had has come with both great internal and external conflict for all of us. My dad has taught me how to honor when people are not honorable, how to give grace when people don’t deserve; and how to believe when no one else will believe. I haven’t learned how to do this just because he is gifted in these areas, I’ve learned this because I’ve seen my dad go through immense and intense personal process and continually seek God.
I’m honored to be my dad’s son. But I’m even more honored to get to watch him follow Christ. I’ve learned so much, and continue to learn more; not because my Dad is perfect, but because God knew I needed belief, support, encouragement and grace; not only extended to me, but extended to people. My dad has been the best model of these things that I could have had. He’s been real and honest and at the same time has been positive and taught me how to believe. I celebrate him because I know God put him in my life to show me what is possible; not only for myself, but for others. And I want to one day have the chance to do that for other people.
I’ll end my blog today with a text that I sent my dad last night at 3:30 AM.
“hey dad! happy birthday! I just want you to know hoe much I love you and look up to you! I’ve always wanted to be just like you! I’m honored to get to do strike force this weekend. It’s a dream come true for me in some way to walk in your shoes. thank you for being a great dad. leader and friend to me. for teaching me and showing me how to live and be a man. but also how to be romantic and truly love others and extend grace and mercy and compassion. I love you dad. happy birthday.”
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